I'm A Filthy Cheater

It all began innocently enough back in 2007. A co-worker introduced me to my new love. He thought we'd hit it off. I was more than apprehensive. I've always been as loyal as a Wookie to a scoundrel, how could I even entertain the idea?

Then I got a glimpse of my new love. Pretty. VERY pretty, my new love appeared to be everything I'd always wanted. My new love looked to good too be true. I succumbed to the temptation.

The wife was working late that night. I figured I had enough time to try my new love out. As I took it out and slid it into the box at that instant it was magic. Never had I went so long. Everything was so instinctual, I knew exactly how to press the button right every time. There was no awkward 'getting to know you' phase, where you're ashamed and embarrassed for the other all at the same time. Everything was just peachy. The wife was to be home soon, I had to force myself to stop and pretend like I wasn't up to anything. As soon as she went to bed, I snuck away and we were right back at it. After that fateful night, my old love was little more than an afterthought.

My relationship with my old love began many years ago at the drive-in in the back of my Dad's Ford LTD. I can still recall every second of that night. It was the beginning of, what I thought was, a life long love affair.

My old love and I were inseparable. I spent 87% of all my waking hours consumed with thoughts of my old love. I never thought the day would come when I would even contemplate walking away from my old love.

We began to fall out in 1999. We had an important date. It seemed like I'd been waiting for that night my whole life. What I got was sheer stupidity, disguised as something my old love thought I'd just blindly buy into because of my unquestioned loyalty. My old love expected me to suspend all knowledge of everything we'd learned together up to that point. My old love presented me that night with lies, half-truths, annoying new 'friends', and a story so ridiculous it could not be taken serious. I walked away from that night, which should of been one of the greatest of my life up to that moment, disgusted, disappointed, and out of love.

I continued on with the charade. I kept believing that my old love would eventually deliver on what was expected. It never happened. My old love would tease me with the promise, then just leave me hanging. I shouldn't really blame myself, I gave my old love plenty of chances to keep me. My old love discarded me. My new love was ready to swoop in and give me everything I'd always wanted.

My new love wanted to entertain me. My new love had a ton of new 'friends'. My new love had an expansive universe for me to explore. My new love wanted me to be the hero. My old love just wanted more of my money.

If you haven't figured it out yet, my old love is Star Wars and my new love is Mass Effect. It really couldn't be anything else. A middle - aged geek, who lives off Mt Dew and Doritos, and knows the back story of insignificant characters appearing in a sci-fi movie franchise isn't in high demand with the ladies. My wife is a saint for politely smiling and knodding when I start talking about these things, instead of shaming me like she should. Sadly, as much as I want to (paraphrasing the butt - loving cowboys in Brokeback Mountain)I just can't quit Star Wars.

The Mass Effect series is beginning its ending one week from today with the release of the demo for Mass Effect 3. I'll be left with nothing but Star Wars after March. I guess I need to work on our relationship. I'm going to go Sunday to see the movie that began the end of my affection for ALL things Star Wars, The Phantom Menace.

I still love the IDEA of Star Wars, hopefully The Maker (George Lucas) doesn't go nuts adding things that don't belong in the latest theatrical release which will see the Star Wars Saga released in order, on per year, for the next 6 years.

Mass Effect has been a fun fling, but nothing could compare to that night at the drive-inn seeing Star Wars on the big screen for the first time. That was real magic.

However, while the video game series is coming to an end, there is a live action movie in the works, and I'm sure many other projects, that I'll be more than willing to sneak off with again. Just don't tell George.